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Past 'The Editor Speaks'

Greetings folken,

Let us first apologise for not updating sooner than this but its been a period of hibernation here at The Lair during the long, long freeze until Viper bought a new coffin and changed his crypt. Refurbishments are in progress.

In The News: - British Gas profits have risen to 50% as the old, infirm, and economically challenged freeze and repel bailiffs. ………… The elderly are shoved in cupboards, children wash in buckets, one child dieing from thirst, not in some famine relief camp in Haiti but in an NHS hospital in the U.K. …….. Police instructed not to chase criminals if it’s close to the end of their shift. ……….. MI5 have finally been caught red handed in complicity in employing methods of torture on ‘terror’ suspects, and getting away with it. ………. Regardless of planning permission Tony Blair has erected a full sized tennis court in his grade 1 listed mansion. It seems he is likely to be requested to take it down and restore the grounds after local residence struck up a petition. Good for them. …….. Gordon Brown lies his way through the Chilcot Inquiry denying all responsibility for taking the country to war on lies, insisting “it was the right thing to do”. Who for ? ……………… The MPs who deceived the tax payers of the country with their expenses claims are to use a law from 1689 to escape prosecution, claiming that only a committee of fellow MPs can judge them. Not to be out done for cheek female MPs have lodged a demand for childcare bills to be paid for by the public on expenses at the tune of aprox £18,000.00 a year each. Oh do they really think so ? ………… Michael Foot MP died earlier this month. During the ill fated general election of ’83 he made a statement, “Don’t get old. Don’t get sick, and don’t lose your job.” A statement that remains horribly prophetic. ……………. Our best wishes go out to the real hero of the war so far, Lance Corporal Joe Glenton, the only soldier to go AWOL (737 days) after finding he had conscientious objection both to the legality of the war and the morality of its motivation following his first tour of duty in Afghanistan which left him suffering post traumatic syndrome and waking up screaming and panicking at the sound of a loud bang. May his example be followed. ……… Karl Rove, dubbed Bush’s Brain, has said he is proud that American secret services used torture to illicit information from ‘suspects’. We wonder how he’d like a try of his own treatment ? ………….. It seems that the banks are set to give us all another nasty surprise by ‘phasing out’ free bank accounts, with the aim of introducing a monthly charge possibly as high as £25.00 per month. Oh yeah ? Just how many of their customers do they think can afford that ? Trouble is just around the corner.

Playing Out; Viper will be at the O2 Academy 20/3/2010 for New Model Army, and at the Planet-X Reunion in May.

Later folken, Viper 18/3/2010

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Greetings folken,

life continues to go quietly on at The Lair. Quietly but not entirely soundless. Our technician has been busy again after some mother fucking hacker – IP 227.63.141.91 – successfully breached The Lair Security system and planted twenty four Trojans before we could stop them. A total system restore was required along with some brand new Security software and all is well again. Just as well we run two systems here at The Lair so no real damage done or loss of data, just inconvenience and expense. Beware out there. Also we have a new interactive element to our activities with the creation of The Lair Of Viper Members Forum over at Facebook.com where Viper is listed under Vern Paiyne. Please come and join us. Your comments are always welcome.

In The News :- after the big freeze comes the big rip off. Although gas prices for suppliers has dropped some 60% the price the public pays has dropped less than 10%. Some suppliers have been caught pursuing a policy of deliberately over charging.

Lot of fuss being made of the kids that beat up and tortured two other kids. Fuckwhit David Cameron has been quick to try and make political mileage out of it calling it a symptom of ‘Broken Britain’. It’s funny but when Viper grew up in the early 1970’s and got chased by knife wielding thugs on bicycles intent on carving their initials in his back and was attacked by others wielding broken bottles and still others offering the warm charms of a gang beating he was just left to fucking well get on with it. No counselling, no press stories, no police action, no fuss, no questions, no politics, no bullshit. It wasn’t a new phenomena then and it isn’t one now. It’s just getting reported.

Cadburys chocolate has been bought out by the American’s. Like everything else that once defined the identity of the country since Victorian times it’s been sold to foreign investors who will change the product to suit themselves. It’s little wonder that Joe Public doesn’t know who he is or what he stands for anymore when every corner stone of his native home has been sold out from under his feet making him a stranger in his own land.

So finally, seven years on from when we first said it, the British Public are finally coming to realize we were right, Tony Blair is a liar, deceiver, a cheat, and War Criminal. If ever there was a reason to enshrine into law that religion and politics should not be mixed then here it is. If this was the 1600’s a bloody Civil War would already be waging and those responsible would be preparing to have their heads separated from their necks. Here at The Lair we never believed the bullshit about Weapons Of Mass Destruction, nor do we believe Dr David Kelly committed suicide, or that Jean De Menezes wasn’t assassinated to order, nor do we believe that ‘terrorists’ from outside the USA destroyed the twin towers or set off bombs in London, nor do we believe that Diana died in just another car crash, and we also find it oddly convenient that Robin Cook had a sudden heart attack when he did, and that Mo Mowlem fell down the stairs when she did. Law ceased to be applicable from the time of day that Blair took us to war. The contract of truth and honour the Government had with the British people was dishonoured with lies and was broken by an act of treason by a man suffering from religious delusions of grandeur rendering null and void all legislation from that date to this. The British public are under no obligation to oblige with consenting to abide by any supposed rule of law introduced since March 30th 2003 as the law of the land no longer carries value or validation since the contracts and principles of law as laid down in Magna Carta have been broken, abused, and disregarded by those who have usurped parliament. The British public have the right and duty to disregard tyranny and instigate the ancient rights of the people to take up arms against an oppressor and resist tyranny in so ever manner as they see fitting to the purpose of regime change and the restoration of public order and confidence via an elected and accountable body of administrative custodians who are free in conscience from the restrictive and dogmatic restrictions of any organised religion from the Yahweh ancestry of tradition.

Viper 2/2/2010

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Good day folken,

Life goes quietly on at The Lair. Little shout out to all at LYMP Reunited. You've all taken Viper by surprise.

In The News :- The big story continues to be all about the ice and snow. The country has ground to a halt. Supplies of grit have all but run out. Fresh snow fell yester night and as we speak is continuing to fall all be it slight. Locally folken have put their bins out in hopeful expectation they might get emptied. The roads are covered in sheet ice resulting in many minor traffic accidents. The pavements, best traversed by mountain goats at the best of times are deathly treacherous. Homeowners have been warned not to clear paths or face being sued if someone slips where a path has been cleared. But never mind, some officials are still having their paths cleared on a regular basis.

The Chandler’s look set to be shot dead by their pirate captors in March who have issued a demand for £1.9 million with a two month deadline in which it must be paid. Things do not bode well for the Chandler’s considering that the couples release was almost secured for a reported $100,000.00 - £61,600.00 until allegedly the British government put the block on it because it went against their negotiations policy. Here at The Lair we despair at the plain lack of care displayed to fellow countrymen and women by those who allegedly represent us and our views.

Hatchet Harriet Harman walked away from court with only a £350.00 fine after admitting to careless driving whilst talking on a mobile phone. It seems Hatchet was prosecuted for ‘driving without due care and attention’ and not for a second charge of ‘using a mobile phone’. Apparently ‘driving without due care and attention’ is more serious than ‘using a mobile’, but if Hatchet wasn’t using her phone she wouldn’t have hit the other car. Other folken would have received harsher penalties including a driving ban. It appears The Crown Prosecution Service were directed from on high to impose a “penalty which could reflect her total offending’. This proves yet again, there is one law for us and another for the Downing Street Terrorists.

War Criminal Tony Blair is unpopular with his neighbours in Wotton Underwood, Buckinghamshire. It seems the locals have banded together to put the block on Blair’s extensive development plans for his grade one listed building and former residence of Sir John Gielgud. English Heritage have also condemned the building proposals and archaeologists are up in arms over the possible destruction of important remains of an ancient village and moat which are recorded on a map made in the seventeen hundreds. Blair, who should be in a prison cell, has plans for a two story sports pavilion with sauna and steam rooms in addition to a two story cottage for guests and a tennis court. Thatcher’s child has done very well we think.

It seems that every bank note in the country is now contaminated with cocaine. Experts say the are shocked and stunned. Perhaps they should get out more. Here at the Lair we could have told them that two or three years ago. Yet again Britain follows America in its trends. It’s a cocaine culture all the way down from up on high and its crazed psychotic mentality has brought the country to its knees.

Some good news, there’s a new Ian Dury film out this week in the pictures. It’s called ‘Sex, And Drugs, And Rock ‘N’ Roll’ and should be very good indeed.

Later folken,

Viper 14/1/2010

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Greetings and New Year blessings folken,

Viper spent an unusually sober Yule period this year. Gone is the daily bottle of Jameson, gone are the capacious gallons of cider, and gone is the smoking of past seasons. That doesn’t mean Viper was entirely sober, he just wasn’t FUBAR. The lingering cold may have been partially responsible. Viper is much improved but not entirely shut of the damned thing which has now taken residence within the sinus cavities. Same shit, different year.

In The News :- snow and ice have closed down sections of the country yet again. Isn’t it strange how countries like Canada where they are used to harsh weather never seem to have a problem when it snows, and places like Australia are never screaming about the drought. Here if it gets too hot we’re out of water, if it snows nothing moves. It’s pitiful and betrays the public trust.

After seventeen years there have finally been some arrests in the Stephen Lawrence case, two police officers who tampered with evidence. One day perhaps before the end of the century they’ll get around to actually fingering the poor lads murderer.

Tony Blair is spending something like £15,000.00 a year to hide the details of his own accounts from the British Public. The way in which War Criminal Blair has set up his finances which ebb and flow through a dozen holdings and companies means that he is legally entitled to withhold publishing his accounts and enjoys ‘secrecy jurisdiction’ of offshore accounting while remaining an onshore British Public. After taking the country to war on a tissue of lies it is little wonder that the man is revealed as an accomplished con artist.

The new ‘Britishness’ test for would be citizens has been revealed as another sham test that even a PhD Historian from Oxford can not pass. Us ordinary mortals wouldn’t stand a chance never mind a potential new citizen. Deliberately designed to fail every applicant it seems the new immigration policy is to make things so impossibly difficult to legally become a British citizen that the only option to many is to remain an illegal alien without rights and open to every type of exploitation creating in effect a slave culture. So much for equality legislation.

Anyone else noticed what a plug ugly bastard prince Harry is ? Proof we suspect of hereditary inbreeding creating throwbacks.

So Daily Mail columnist Amanda Platell seeks to become a British citizen does she ? In her over long article on why she wants to be British this silly cow says she thinks that fucking bitch Thatcher is ‘best of British’. Views like that should bar you from becoming a British citizen. We very much hope her application is rejected and that the immigration police succeed in deporting this illegal alien of already twenty five years.

In an inspired move to get everybody to vote for anyone but the Labour Party some daft twat took the decision to make Hatchet Harriet Harman the new public face of labours General Election campaign. What drugs are these people on, and where do I go to score some ?

Later folken,

Viper 4/1/2010

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Seasons greetings and best wishes for Yule folken.

Pestilence at The Lair continues. Viper is still suffering from a lingering cold with a chest infection. So far it hasn’t slowed him down too much. Three gigs in seven days. Old Viper was even on stage performing at one point with The Beat. You catch up with the Live Lounge action in three new reviews – The Beat, The New York Dolls, and Ian McNabb.

In The News: - Seems the great British Public are being ripped off again. This time by major national stores selling christmas presents. It seems depending on where you live you might be paying twice the price others are. Max Weber must be pleased his principle of The Protestant Work Ethic is still alive and kicking. I wonder what his pal Karl would make of it all ?

It seems we are now to be subjected to questioning on our sexuality by Government under supposed equality legislation. What the fuck does it matter what sexuality a patient needing a heart by-pass is ? Or any other condition come to that ? Another infringement on personal privacy we encourage the British Public to resist.

The Tiger Woods saga rumbles on. We still don’t give a fuck.

We wish the six doctors taking legal action to open a public enquiry into the assassination of Dr David Kelly the very best of luck. We’ll be following developments with a keen eye.

Those poor buggers the Chandler’s may be dead by now. The Defence Secretary Bob Ainsworth fucked up two rescue attempts and seems set to allow them to rot.

Photographers are the latest victims of the Terror laws. Under Section 44 police are allowed to stop and search individuals in certain geographical locations without requirement of ‘reasonable suspicion’. These geographical locations house Government buildings, but due to ‘national security’ no one is allowed to know where they are. Innocent hobby photographers and tourists are being stopped by police up and down the country who illegally demand photographs be deleted from cameras. If you are stopped you should know – 1. You do not have to give your name, address, date of birth, DNA, or reason for being there. 2. If the police arrest you then you will be required to give the information demanded e.g. your name, address, date of birth, DNA or reason for being there. 3. Though you may not leave the scene you do not have to comply with any attempt to photograph you. 4. Police can not delete or demand you delete any images taken on your camera and may only examine them under limited circumstances. 5. If you are driving a vehicle when stopped you will have to give your name, address, date of birth, DNA or reason for being there. 6. If stopped insist on acquiring the name and badge number of the officers and obtaining them from a written record including their reason for stopping you. 7. Remember what the police said to you and write it down as soon as you can and compare it to the record they gave you. 8. Ask to see the officers warrant cards and note the numbers as police personnel may be transferred and their shoulder number may change. 9. A Community Support Officer (plastic police) may not conduct a Section 44 search without a real police officer present. Some of you may be interested in www.not-a-crime.com and Google ‘I’m A Photographer Not A Terrorist’.

Children of five are to be given lessons on safe internet use. What the fuck are young kids like that doing on the internet in the first place ? Surely this is a parental matter, and a matter of poor parenting. Children under the age of eleven should have no need to use the internet and should be strictly monitored while doing so until they are sixteen.

Cannabis Cup Extra: - a full blown war of words over the pie incident broke out over at ICMag last week. Marco defended himself with grace and ease. We wish him well. …….. Big shout out to The Cannabis Inspector who was asking after Viper. Maybe see you next year.

Playing Out: - Viper has no events planned until New Year.

Viper 15/12/200

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Hi folken,

The pestilence at The Lair continues. Viper attended the Landlords daughters 18th last Saturday where a good time was had by all. Unfortunately it was held in a barn and the cold seems to have aggravated Viper’s lingering cold. It’s all snot and a slight cough this week.

In The News: - Tiger Woods is all over the papers for getting laid. Who cares ?

The NHS is under attack with claims of something like 5,000 needless deaths through negligence and lack of resources. If they’d only asked we could have told them that decades ago. We also know it was Thatcher’s government that started the trouble. The local NHS Hospital closest to The Lair is referred to as The Death House.

Poor Gary McKinnon seems set to be thrown to the lions in America. The British Government it seems pays scant regard to human rights or its high moral outlook that it expounds so freely. Gary intends killing himself rather than being sent to an American jail for possibly 60 years.

There are growing calls for Tony Blair to face charges of War Crimes since the disclosure of a secret deal of ‘regime change’ done months before the War began with George W. Bush. Its not only Tony Blair that should be put in the dock but the entire government of the day, the commanders of the armed forces, members of the armed forces, the secret service, and the American’s. Some of us aren’t the least surprised and here at The Lair we’ve said all along the War On Terror was bullshit and illegal. The real terrorists are our own governments.

New legal high drug Mephedrone is under fire for its bad side effects and has been implicated in the death of Gabrielle Price. Perhaps more attention should have been focused on the cocaine in her system and maybe other drugs. Tragic as the death of this young teenager it is the governments policy of prohibition which has created the market for ‘legal highs’ and which is directly responsible through negligence and party dogma for this young girls death. Perhaps they should listen more to Professor Nutt.

Cannabis Cup News: - It seems Marco from ‘Healing Yourself’ magazine, Canada, got himself a cream pie in the face for publishing parts of Joe Pietri’s ‘The King Of Nepal’. The parts that allege Mila and others from the Canna-buisness hijacked the ice water extraction process for producing hashish. Elsewhere, prices for ‘smokeables’ seem to have substantially risen. The average deal for 1g being 10Euro. A packet of skins cost 2Euro. The official list of winners can be found at the High Times web site. Attendance was noticeably down this year with the ‘credit crunch’ taking the blame. Big Hi to Norwegian Hash-Bean who was asking after Viper’s health.

Playing Out: - Viper is away to see The Beat Saturday night, Ken Dodd in New Brighton on Sunday, The New York Dolls Wednesday, and Ian McNabb the following Saturday. Stay tuned for new live reviews.

Viper 3/12/09

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Greetings folken,

My apologies for keeping you waiting so long but things have not been going well since Viper went to see The Specials. Having enjoyed himself and succumbing to some serious skanking during the set Viper found he couldn’t walk next day. Yes poor bugger has buggered his knees and aggravated the slight arthritis into near chronic proportions. It put a slight crimp in his One Year Undead celebrations. Viper has since been spotted around the local with a variety of walking sticks. One was confiscated by his physiotherapist and replaced with a ‘borrowed’ one, now replaced with his own brand new slick retractable stick. A month of pestilence then descended upon The Lair. Viper came down with an unidentified virus that the barmaid diagnosed as possible Swine Flu, after having it herself earlier in the year. Poor old Viper took to his bed for several days before successfully shaking it off. RTL then succumbed it the illness. Just a week later however viper went down with yet another virus also flu like. This one also saw the old bugger back in bed for a couple of days and has left Viper with a debilitating weakness of the body physical as it’s also aggravated his M.E. Viper is gaining strength again though still suffering from a lingering ‘heavy cold’. RTL still suffers. Plans for a trip down to London to see friends and attend this years U.K. Hemp Fair had to be cancelled. In the mean while Psycho Cat Designs have been busy building Viper’s masseur a brand new web site – www.ceuhealthandbeauty.com and have been repairing computers in scenes reminiscent of www.comparethemeerkat.com . My the fun we’ve had. We also have three brand new live gig reviews in the Live Lounge. The Drellas, Stiff Little Fingers, and The Specials. It’s taken some effort to choose our pictures this time. Viper got himself a new camera and discovered the rapid fire device. We’ve had to go through the best part of 4,000 photos. In time we aim to animate some of these to include with the reviews and give you lucky folken a taste of what it was like. Stay tuned, Viper should be back to regular updates again soon.

So, Tony Blair had a new arse torn in him by Mr Breirley, father of a dead service man, who told Blair he has blood on his hands. We commend Mr Breirley for his actions and encourage others to act in a similar manner. The man and his government are guilty War Criminals and need to be brought to trial.

Scientists have discovered a link between M.E./C.F.S. and prostrate cancer. Should I prepare myself now for prostrate cancer ?

Fifi Geldof got busted for cannabis but let off with a warning.

Proffessor Nutt got himself sacked for speaking the truth on the dangers of cannabis. That’s great. It shows how the government isn’t interested in truth, only party policy and dogma.

A lot of fuss was made when Philip Laing pissed on a War memorial a few weeks back. What should the public expect. Fight a dishonourable war and expect to be dishonoured.

Paul and Rachel Chandler look like their up shit creek without a paddle. The U.K. government seemingly doesn’t give a shit if they get murdered by their pirate captors. No real surprise there, they don’t give a shit about their citizens at home never mind abroad.

Climate change isn’t as bad as they make out. A new investigation has revealed that information leaving research centres have been ‘manipulated’. The world government just figured out another way to make us all fearful and screw us into the ground.

Mass flooding up in the lake district again. Wouldn’t it make more sense to re-house everyone and turn the place into a reservoir ?

Anyone know who in blue fuck Baroness Ashton is or where she came from ? Her appointment to EU office looks like a shady inside job to us.

There are more folken on Sickness Benefit now than ever. It’s little wonder is it with overwork killing those not having nervous, emotional, or mental breakdowns as a direct result of government legislation and mis-management. Lets not forget the ever lengthening list of ruined servicemen who will never be able to look after themselves let alone work again. Chickens coming home to roost from Government policy we think.

Very quietly the American’s are going about the legalisation of cannabis with the AMA finally conceding the medicinal properties of the plant after 72 years and removing it from Schedule 1. We at The Lair think it’s about time the U.K. followed suit. We could learn a great deal from the Medical Collectives. Anyone remember Sativex ?

Cannabis Cup News: we understand things are in full swing over in Amsterdam. Early reports say Barney’s look set to make a grab for glory. Apparently they are giving out pretty hefty freebie bags. News in today says the Celebrities Choice for the Cups goes like this – White Dolphin from The Dolphins, S5 Haze from Mellow Yellow, 420 Kush from De Kuil, O.G. Kush from De Croon, Silver Haze from The Ocean, G13 Amnesia from Tweede Kamer, S5 Juice from Boerenjongens. Awards night is tonight so wee’ll see ……..

Playing Out: Viper expects to be Liverpool’s O2 Academy for The Beat 5/12/09, New York Dolls 9/12/09, and Ian McNabb 12/12/09.

Later folken,

Viper 25/11/2009

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Hi folken,

Seems Jack Tweed has found his natural station in life at last. He’s back in jail spending his days as a toilet cleaner.

So the police now think anti social behaviour and low level hooliganism is not their responsibility. O.K., so just what the fuck is their job. Oh sorry I forgot, their the ones who murder innocent protesters, execute innocent civilians, and arrest millions of peaceful cannabis users while allowing the rich and privileged to do just as they please.

The bastard binmen who insist we now separate our rubbish into different piles for recycling purposes, those cunts that hand out fines or refuse to pick it up if it isn’t sorted, take all your painstakingly separated crap and throw it all in together in one wagon labelled for landfill. What’s the point ? You might as well chuck it all in the street and let them sort it out themselves like they did back in Shakespeare’s time. Never mind the rats and the horrible diseases and the stink. Dr Duncan must be spinning in his grave.

The government has instructed pharmacists to disregard prescriptions from G.P.’s instructing them to find cheaper drugs than those prescribed. Never mind that the cheap ones don’t work and produce horrific side effects just so long as the government can save a few more quid to waste on bombs and perks for the boys.

It seems that it is now illegal for one mother to look after her friends kids while she is at work. The government says they aren’t capable or qualified, have not gone through criminal record checks or been investigated by the Independent Safeguarding Authority and therefore are committing a crime by gaining the ‘reward’ of being able to go to work (politicians, the rich, and the privileged are exempt). The government want kids brought up by professional qualified strangers who will charge parents an extortionate fee to do so. Is this how they intend to strengthen ‘the family’ and encourage community spirit ? It’s a fucking strange way to deal with unemployment too unless of course the plan is to return women to the home and keep them barefoot, pregnant, and chained to the cooker.

It seems the long slow and woefully painful race to be in government after next years General Election has started. Like the rest of the British public we really couldn’t care less here at The Lair. We know they are all liars and cheats bent on the ideals of an Orwellian totalitarian police state. Yes, we all know we’ve been totally sold out and fucked in the arse by the Labour Party who have taken us into an illegal futile bloody conflict on lies alone, but do any of you really think the Tory party is any better ? Some of us are old enough to remember the nightmare of the last Tory Government and the damage done to our society and communities by that fucking bitch Thatcher. The hardship, the lack of hospitals, lack of doctors and nurses, the lack of educational resources, the lack of public services, the erosion of freedom and liberty, the closing of dance halls, while the rich and privileged carried on regardless far removed from the horrors of day to day survival. Only stupid bastards vote Tory !

Just a reminder ;- unemployment is not a crime. Neither is suffering from a long term or permanent illness. Don’t let them become one.

On The Forums;- yes folken, sometimes I still check in for a look see. ChilledTimes.com seem to be ticking along pretty well. The News and Current Affairs section is pretty good. ………. Over at the THC-Ministry I’ve had to wield the big Moderator stick and deal with another crazy evangelist. Come join our Christian free environment.

Cannabis Cup News;- see Events section of the THC-Ministry Forum. Viper has no plans to attend this year due to health concerns and the current poor rates of economic exchange.

Playing Out:- viper will be down the front at Liverpool O2 Academy 21/10/09 for Stiff Little Fingers, 24/10/09 The Drellas (remember the band Space ?), 29/10/09 at the Olympia for The Specials, O2 for the New York Dolls 9/12/09, and Ian McNabb 12/10/09.

Later folken,

Viper 9/10/09

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Greetings folken,

So Jack Tweed hasn’t taken long to in pissing up the wall some of the money his dead wife greedily grasped from the British public. Seemingly this boy is partying twenty four hours a day. After a string of high profile flings the guy has reverted straight to type and is currently on a rape charge. Did anyone expect much else from this low life jail bird ?

There’s been a great deal of bleating over the fate of Marcus the lamb. Head teacher of the school involved wanted to educate her children in the ways of the world by encouraging them to care and rear Marcus for the market place. The plan being that money raised from the selling of Marcus’s carcass would enable the school farm to purchase other animals for the children to raise and send to market. Given that an unbelievably large percentage of the population don’t actually know where their bacon comes from it really isn’t such a bad idea. Some folks can’t tell a donkey from a cow. Advertising firms have spent untold amounts of money and several decades muddying the minds of the public and divorcing us from reality. That there has been such a backlash to this step to re-educate the public can only be put down to the growing culture of ignorance which pervades every corner of our lives and is encouraged wholesale from Government on down. What is shocking about Marcus’s story is not the sale of his plump succulent flesh but the campaign to save him. Farm animals are sent up the slaughter house to provide us with food. To imagine or pretend differently is a dangerous illusion if pursued. If children don’t learn such basic facts of life as children then it seems increasingly unlikely in this round corner PC guide railed society that they ever will. The result, generations of thourghly useless idiots of Jade Goody’s calibre. When the shit hits the fan from disease, power failure, or war how are these idiots going to survive ? I’ve become quite partial to lambs heart over the last twelve months. They do lovely ones served hot and cooked in mint sause at one of the butchers in the St John's Market in Liverpool.

Interestingly enough a new report reveals teachers believe they should no longer be teaching kids to be patriotic. In fact three quarters of them believe they should be warning children about the dangers of patriotism. As a body teachers feel that they should be promoting notions of universal brotherhood, humanity, and understanding and what makes us all the same. They feel that promoting patriotism is as bad as forcing everyone to have the same religion. They feel that patriotism divides groups of people along racial lines, and quite right too. We hear such a lot about how this is a Christian country, isn’t one of the basics of that religion that ‘we were all created equal’ ? It doesn’t seem to add up against our present creeping policy of Nation Socialism does it when Gordon Brown is himself calling on teachers to encourage patriotism and install ‘British-ness’ lessons on the national curriculum. No doubt he needs more ignorant young men to sacrifice over in Afghanistan and Iraq as the casualties of an illegal bullshit war stack up.

Further evidence of the policy of National Socialism and the totalitarian police state comes in the announcement of the intended Independent Safeguarding Authority and the proposal of a ‘slop bucket’ for every house. Firstly, if this body is independent who is it independent of ? Isn’t this a government body and subject to employment by public servants ? We now find ourselves firmly wrapped into the age of paranoia fostered as a hegemony by British, American, and Israeli secret services. Fewer Americans now believe the attack of the twin towers was carried out by outside terrorists than those that do. Similarly in the U.K. there is a growing groundswell of opinion that the London bombings were carried out by the secret service. Everyone is guilty now unless they can prove otherwise, and like prisoners jailed in their homes will soon it seems be required to put out their ‘slop buckets’ for collection under the guise of recycling. Do you feel you still live in a free country ?

Another point of interest is the growing theory that Osama Bin Laden may have been executed a few months after the Twin Towers attack. That he had no part in the twin Towers attack, and that British and American secret services have been spinning us all a line to justify the bullshit ‘War On Terror’. If you want more details it’s all in a new book by Prof. David Ray Griffin called ‘Osama Bin Laden: Dead Or Alive ?’.

A woman of ninteen has been prevented from marrying by social services because she isn’t intelligent enough. Why on earth didn’t they stop Jade Goody ? It could have prevented her from breeding.

There’s been a lot of fuss over the omissive new biography of the Queen Mother. Really, who gives a fuck ? Just be thankful she’s dead and there’s one less parasite to publicly fund.

Plying Out;- Viper hasn’t been playing out much recently since attending the A Flock Of Seagulls gig. He’s been shaking off some kind of weird virus. It might have been Swine Flu for all we know, but thankfully it passed after ten days or so with some penicillin. There are no events nights out planned in the near future. Doreen is having trouble sorting things out Planet-X wise but will definitely be holding a bash on Dec 28th.

Viper 22/9/2009

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How do folken,

Great news. Oasis have split up. Isn’t it marvellous ? I only wished they’d done it years ago. At last, an end of boring Beatle copyist dead end coke head dirge. The damage they have wrought on the British music scene is immense. We’ve got kids going about thinking cool is a stupid bloody haircut and cocaine flu. Oasis were the epitomy of yob culture who offered nothing and said little more than ‘everything is shit’. The Sex Pistols, whom the brothers claim to be inspired by, left a far more positive social impact by comparison, ripples of which can still be seen today.

Jacko’s quack looks set to face a homicide/manslaughter case along with a half dozen other ‘medics’. The Jackson family have been criticised for allegedly taking money off Jacko but refusing to help him out financially when he was down to his last $400,000.00. Seems to us here at the Lair that they had/have as much to gain from Jacko’s death as the record companies. Here’s one to think about; Jacko dies unexpected, sales of all his records hit a new high in the weeks after, do you believe the record shops just happened to have that many records/C.D.’s kicking about in the back room on the off chance ? One train of though has it that the Jackson family are hoping to gain a conviction against Dr Conrad Murray, who gave Jacko his final dose, so that they can portray Jacko as a victim blah blah lay on the bullshit with a trowl and call in the snow ploughs. Plans are a foot to open Neverland as some kind of tribute fun park with the Jackson family understood to be buying the property. …………… and so the myth of Jacko shall be born and the people will be encouraged to worship yet another false god.

It’s all gone quiet on the Swine Flu side of the news. They say no news is good news but some of us are contemplating the calm before the storm.

Big Brother has finally come to it’s overdue end. Having swiftly recovered from the novelty of the first show and wearied by the whole Jade thing the British public have finally had enough of dead head no hopers scrabbling and scrapping against each other in a pitiful bitchfest to become king shit of turd mountain for a nine day wonder. They should have give it up after the race row thing and concentrated on entertaining the public with the celebrity version of the show. They at least were fun to watch as the stars of today and yesteryear slowly lost their minds and began turning on each other. Who could forget Barrymore jittering about the place as a cheap alternative to a stint at The Priory ?

With great amusement we note that the U.K. has a brand new home grown ‘terrorist’ group. Named ‘Movement for the Containment of Christmas’ the group has already glued the locks of shops who are already displaying Christmas cards and Christmas decorations. As non-christians we find the whole wind up to the end of year commerce dressed as religion offensive. There are many peoples in this multi-cultural isle of ours who share our views. Attendance at Sunday Service across the land is the lowest it has ever been. So why do we continue to allow ourselves to be dominated by an out dated blinkered, hypocritical, corrupt, and redundant theology ? Support your local branch of the M.C.C. and lets replace Christmas with our own native tradition of Yule.

Playing Out: - Hamlet at St Georges Hall, was terrible. Not the quality of the acting, but the quality of the sound and the choreography of the actors made it impossible to hear what they were saying. Large chunks were cut from the plot too. We walked out half way through. ‘Brick Up the Mersey Tunnels’ was far more to our taste and very entertaining. Imagine a mix of the best ‘Carry On’ humour mixed with the best of 1970’s British sitcom’s but relative only to the local area and you’ll get an idea. No big surprises but an entertaining night out. We’re off to see A Flock Of Seagulls tomorrow night so expect the review up in the Live Lounge by the weekend.

We have also altered the Members Library and moved some articles from the public bar to the Members areas. We hope you like the changes. More changes are planned for the future.

Viper 1/9/2009

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Hi Folken,

So the British Government, who took the country to war on a lie, sent over a load of troops as cannon fodder for their bullshit and illegal war on sanity, now see fit to deploy spies on their wounded troops so that they can avoid paying them compensation for their lost limbs and broken lives. It’s a good way to encourage an armed rebellion by the people. Well done.

Swine Flu is now totally out of control and folks are starting to drop in heavy numbers. There were 110,000 new cases recorded last week. Two of the barmaids at the local pub have had it. Thankfully they are both recovering very well, but it’ll be bad news if their grandparents get it as our ‘caring’ government say pensioners can fuck off until next year before they’ll be eligible to be given Tamiflu. Folks are reportedly scamming supplies of Tamiflu with multi claims and multi ID’s and some have actually sold their supplies on E-Bay. No doubt the inspired move to set up a ‘hot line’ manned by inexperienced non medical staff who dispense Tamiflu to those they suspect might have Swine Flu according to a question sheet is to blame. I suspect the government might well view a little depopulation as a good thing. Especially in view of how many pension funds have been wiped out recently. How many MP's have been reported to have contracted Swine Flu ?

Seems it hasn’t taken long for King Obama The Fly-I to fall out of favour at home after a Malcolm-X rap in New York. The red necks got ready for a come back. A race row erupted and seemingly became worse after Obama intervened. Professor Louis Gates locked himself out of his own house and regained entry via breaking one of his own windows. Thanks to a local busybody the cops were called and Prof Gates was arrested even though he had already proved his ID and ownership of his property. A reporter asked a question about it at a press conference and the shit hit the fan when Obama The Fly-I said the cops “acted stupidly”. Won’t be too long before is North v South again by the looks of it.

At home a new directive has banned the use of bright yellow Witness Appeal signs used by the police. The idea is that the signs unsettle the public, so by removing them the public should be kidded into believing less crime is happening. Of course they didn’t consider that preventing crimes from being solved is a great way to push up the unsolved crimes figures and undermine public confidence in using the police to solve crimes committed against them. It’s another step towards encouraging a rebellion by this ‘Carry On Government’. It should be a lot easier with a reported 600 police persons a day going off sick due to ‘stress’. Ahh, the poor luv’s. All that planting evidence, beating up, torturing, and murdering innocent civilians, and covering up MP’s ‘indiscretions’ must be terrible, especially when they get caught out doing it.

If you drive to work your soon going to be in for a shock. The government are about to implement a parking charge of £350.00 on every single one of you. It won’t be long now before we all return to using the horse and cart to get around, or give up working further away than we can walk. Way to go with encouraging economic prosperity and neutralising the growing public resentment in the concept of central government.

Looks like our 'caring' government is set to allow the American’s to extradite Gary McKinnon. Here’s a boy with little working knowledge of how the real world really works due to his Aspergers condition. Put simply the poor lad isn’t right in the head and has a wildly different perspective on the world to the rest of us because of it. He can’t help it, it’s not his fault he’s not well and mentally challenged. A sign of that must surely be the lengths he went to too jack into the U.S. Governments secret computer files in order to find evidence of the existence of aliens. I wonder what he found that they want to put him on trial and probably lock him away as an ‘enemy of the state’ ? Perhaps he found out that the aliens are already here and have shape shifted into government MP’s across the globe and are subtly herding us all into a totalitarian regime of slavery in service to the Mutant Monkeys Of Planet Zorch.

Jude Law has been spread across the papers because he shagged some yoyo knickered tart. She’s screaming and moaning for a quick lay-out because she was stupid or cunning enough to get up the plank. Stick to hookers next time Jude. It may cost just as much but it’s hassle free guaranteed.

On The Forums; - it seems Viper's influence still rides high in some communities. Over at Chilled Times a recent thread erupted when a poster named LesbianStraightner went about attempting to character assassinate Viper. We'd like to thank Irrevocable, Wolfie, and Bonsai_Ent for their supportive words and particularly Bushmaster who defended Viper regardless of how things ended. Viper probably doesn't deserve it, but thanks Mark. We always said you were one of the good ones. At The Lair we'd like to point out Viper has not yet reached the elderly state of 42 yet, still a long way from fifty, and also nobody has yet had the bollocks to e-mail us here at the Lair with their opinions since Bushmaster suggested doing so - confirming our suspicions the LS and his like are nothing more than gutless shithouse bastards. It amused us greatly to see LS get banned. Please feel free to drop us a line, we could do with a laugh.

Playing Out; - Viper has been confining himself mostly to the local pub recently after waking up to a second knee cap due to unexplained internal bleeding of the leg but did manage to have a damned good night out at the Ian McNabb gig at the Bluecoat last Thursday. Coming up in the next couple of weeks are a performance of ‘Hamlet’ at the historic St Georges Hall, ‘Brick Up The Mersey Tunnel’s’ play at the Royal Court, The Gypsies playing the local pub with a hog roast and all the trimmings, A Flock Of Seagulls first gig in something like twenty years 2/9/2009, and later on in October The Specials at the Liverpool Olympia.

It’s a tough job but someone has to do it.

Viper 5/8/2009

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Hi Folken,

the inquest into Michael Jackson's death rumbles on. It's no surprise to find out that his body contained more drugs than the local pharmacy. What is surprising to some is the range amounts and quality of his drugs. Millionaire junkies have millionaire stash collections. No surprise really is it. Predictably enough one of Jacko's family (La Toya) has expressed her suspicion that Jacko was murdered by the people surrounding him. Not so much killing the fatted cash cow, but revitalising record sales across the board and helping establish Jacko The Legend myth. Some comparing him with Sid Vicious for post breathing sex appeal and street cred. Bollocks ! I wonder how much the record company picked up on their insurance against a no show at the O2 concerts ?

Interestingly enough it now seems there are enough people now believing that the so called 7/7 London Bombings were the work of the secret services to worry the authorities. They should be worried, the trurth always finds a way to surface. Here at The Lair we have always believed those bombings to be a combination 'black op' conducted by the American, British, and Israeli Secret Services in the same way we have always believed the September 11th Attack was perpetrated by the American Secret Service and that Lady Diana and Dr David Kelly were assassinated in a conspiract involving The Carlyle Group and the secret services of more than one country. When the rioting finally begins it's going to be savage. May the Gods help us all.

Swine Flu continues to spread ever more rapidly across the nation and the rest of the world seemingly unchecked. In the U.K. the first death of a victim having no other underlying medical condition has been reported raising concerns about the virus mutating. There are growing concerns that Swine Flu is a biological weapon which has either escaped or deliberatly been spread.

Elsewhere it was revealed that the family of parasites residing at Buckingham Palace pay aprox £400.00 less Council Tax than Joe Bloggs down the road living in an ordinary semi-detached. Yet again this illustrates just how all the lip service 'equality' is actually practiced in the U.K..

There's more hand wringing and pityful bleating about troops dieing in Afghanistan. The answer is very simple, bring them home because they shouldn't be there in the first place.

Interestingly in a so called 'Christian' society church Sunday Services have fallen to less than one million in the past decade. In a country of around 57 million, what does that indicate ?

Plans for a Planet-X night in August have been shelved. Plans for the Eric's Party seem similarly uncertain with Doreen having difficulty reaching Paul Whelan.

Elsewhere Viper has been out to play. However he's set himself back again due to breaking a rib partying at The Crows Nest Fest. Also viper went to see The Buzzcocks last Saturday and we have exclusive pictures and a review in our Live Lounge.

Viper 13/7/2009

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Good day to you folken,

so Wako Jacko has dropped dead. Not surprisingly under suspect circumstances. No doubt many parents will sleep better. I never did like his music. Though he did aid my getting laid the day after the 'Thriller' video was first broadcast on CH4 twenty five years ago, when Jacko was still black. Farewell you fucking freak record company puppet.

What a shame about Farrah Fawcett. I like many a boy my age grew up and broke many a tempestuous sexual fantasy while glued to Charlie's Angels and mooning over the hottest pin up girl of that age. R.I.P., you made many of us very happy.

So a new report confirms what we all knew already. The Governments HIPs requirement for homeowners is a waste of time and money and over half the house buying public are completely ignoring aquiring one. Nobody has yet been busted for not having one. Unpopular and useless legislation is being treated with the contempt it rightly deserves. If only we could just get the same momentum behind the legalisation of cannabis.

The first Armed Forces Day proves as unpoular with those in uniform as it does with those out of it. The public have no respect for what the armed forces are doing for the politicians, and the politicians have no respect for the people they send over seas to do their dirty work for them. What a fucking sham !

We are amused to see the Wheelie Bin Revolt begin to finally take serious root amont the British public. Not before time either. Here at The Lair we have three of the fucking things taking up space on our property. We don't own them, the Council do. Now by our reasoning, that's several square feet of land the Council should be paying us rent for or giving us back in Council Tax Rebate.

Glastobury seems to be going well this year. Anyone who went and is reading please feel free to submit your reviews and reports to The Lair for inclusion in the Live Lounge section. We just loved Lilly Allen's outfit.

Here at The Lair we've been under water as a result of burst joint in the Gents claoking room. Praise where it's due, RTL was straight to fixing it. It's so useful to have a plumber about the place.

Viper has had a bit of a set back in his heart Re-hab gym classes. Never one for half measures he somehow disabled himself whilst gardening with a combination of Tennis Elbow and Golfer's elbow, in the same elbow. So not to undo the good fit and healthy regime Viper has taken back to his mountain bike and been doing daily five mile rides, finishing with a grueling climb up what locals call Cardiac Hill. A hill with a steeper rise than the past twelve months cost of living. Very thankful that the pub is at the top of the climb Viper has amazed, shoked, and stunned regulars who greeted Viper with applause Thursday afternoon as the weary warrior crested the summit, and headed straight for the bar leaving a trail of dripping sweat in his wake.

Playing Out:- we've been taking things easy the last couple of weeks, but coming up this month are The Buzzcocks, Ian McNabb, and the Go-Go Cage. Plans for other events are not yet confirmed.

Later folken,

Viper 27/6/2009

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Greetings and welcome new reader folken,

What a busy month. So finally the British public have got the evidence about what it long suspected, that MP’s were taking us all for a ride with their expenses. To a lot of us its no surprise, we’ve been waiting for everyone else to realise it too. Now they have were all just disappointed that there so far have been no riots. With only 33% of the electorate bothering to vote any more you’d think that MP’s might take the hint, ‘we don’t need you, don’t want you, fuck off !’. At the Lair we share in the general public’s fantasy of the sight of seeing some of these bastards hanging from the lampposts.

We were thourghly delighted to hear that bitch, Maggie Thatcher, broke her arm and ended up in hospital. We’re getting ready to throw one hell of a party when she finally kicks the bucket.

Jack Tweed, the violent thug that married Miss Piggy (Jade Goody) has, as predicted, along with ‘Piggy’s’ pals, been whinging and whining about how much he misses Little Miss Rocking Horse Brains 2007 and the media have focused on building up the kids as victims. Please, do us all a favour and just fuck off.

Mad cow disease has returned to the U.K. in the form of Susan Boyle. So maybe she can sing, but it’s a voice for radio and not for television.

Swine fever gets further out of control and is spreading out of view from the media limelight. A Wirral hospital worker (Arrowe Park) was diagnosed this week with the disease and has probably given it to at least one other co-worker. So what have they done to protect the public ? Given him some anti-biotics and put him back to work inside the hospital. Way to go with containment of a pandemic.

Here at The Lair we’ve put our steam drive computer-me-bob into retirement after acquiring another more up to date model. We’re pleased to say this new computer-me-bob seems to be firing on all cylinders and is shit hot speedy compared to our steam drive model where our stressed technician informed us that "She cann’y handle it any morre Captain Cups. The maine waarter chamber in the bong furrrnace is cracked an’ will nay take the prressure. The gaurrze is nearrrly burrrned oout, and she’s leakin' so much residual hash oiiils all over the place that it’s starrrting ta look like a tar factory doown in engineering."

Playing Out:- this month Viper’s been out to enjoy the second Liverpool Sound City festival. You can see the review of the Planet-X Presents: Jimmy & The Destroyers, Henry Cluney, The Alarm, The Damned At The Stanley Theatre in the Members Live Lounge. Since then we hear that Liverpool Sound City organiser Mark Jones was attacked, beaten, and robbed of the profits in his own home, requiring a short stay in hospital. We also hear that long time Planet-X regular Pek had a serious car smash and also ended up in hospital. We wish you both a speedy recovery. ………… Viper was also in attendance at the ‘Eric’s The Book’ launch and signing at Waterstone’s book shop in Liverpool One 11/6/2009 with local media and DJ Roger Hill in attendance. Viper was spotted schmoozing with the authors and contributors, including Doreen Allen, in the Poste Office pub afterwards where plans to hold an Eric’s Party were formulated. The idea was that a proper book launch was now in order with the book, in it’s fourth printing this year, soon available in Holland, Japan, and the U.S.A.. A party with Eric’s DJ Norman at the controls, a bar, bands, and book signings in a suitable environment was firming up as a plan of action as Viper left to honour anther engagement. Yesterday those plans moved forwards dramatically as Viper, Doreen, and Lynne, ran into Julie at the Eric’s photographic exhibition at the Liverpool, Whitechapel Conservation centre. Julie, an Eric’s regular and now a member of staff at the Liverpool Museum, where the ‘Beat Goes On Exhibition’ is housed, suggested holding the Eric’s Party there, and a provisional date of Thursday July 23rd was proposed and initially agreed upon. You heard it here first folken !

Next Month looks like it’s going to be fun.

Viper 18/6/2009

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Good day folken,

the world it seems continues to fall apart and it feels like the end of the 1970's all over again. Large scale unemployment, an entirely useless Labour Party, and toff Tory's at the trough of the British taxpayer pointing the finger at the Labour Party and behind the smoke and mirrors commiting acts of grotesque greed and corruption.

Elsewhere the world is pig sick with swine flu. No doubt it was a parting gift from Jade Goody whom the world seems to have entirely forgotten in only a month, thankfully. Swine fever was thought to have been eradicated from the earth decades ago and this version of it appears to be some mutation that can be caught from person to person. Some might be forgiven for presuming the American CIA left the cap off something during one of threir Black Ops.

Here at the Lair we've also had our troubles. The laptop we were given by Bushmaster packed up and died. Our technician tells me its a motherboard problem, 'but the RAM might be fucked too'. So we struggled and managed to lay our hands on another PC that someone was throwing out. It's little wonder, as we had to install a new boiler to drive our steam powered computermebob in a scene reminicent of the TV insurance/merecat advert.

On The Telly: ......... Eastenders - its all been a bit dull since the passing of young Danielle but rest assured things are about to darken again as the resident script sadist at the BBC prepares to take Stacy Slater down the path of madness in the footsteps of her mother. Then there's Dot, Dotty, and Nick. Will Dot survive this latest atempt at murder by her son who's currently stiching her up to look as sane as Stacy's mother ? ........... Coronation Street - well hasn't the storyline with Eilene knocked a few of us bandy ? You can't help feeling sorry for Julie who's just fucked her sisters son without knowing it can you. Give it a couple of weeks and I bet she'll turn up pregnant. Then there's Norris and mad Mary. If I was him I'd have run for the hills already until she fucks off. ............ Hero's - Hiro himself looks like he's in trouble with his headaches and nosebleeds. Whilst the twists and turns of the plot have been most involving I'm beginning to grow tired of the constant oscilation of intense political intrigue and mundane emotional distress. So now they are all suposed to be just normal people with 'abilities'. Sylar is now Nathan, but you know that won't last long. ............

On The Forums: Since withdrawing from ChilledTimes.com I find I really couldn't care much about how things are going on the forums. I don't miss the back biting nor the cruel and nasty attitudes of posters. All round it seems pretty quiet with next to no reports this year on the 'Brand Logo 420' event in Amsterdam but, 'hey dude I got so stoned'. Reports say Virtual Dam is virtually dead but life ticks quietly on over at the THC Ministry.

Playing Out: I took a look over at the once a month Go Go Cage at The Magnet in Liverpool in April and was mightily impressed. The DJ was spinning some incredible sounds that I could pick out bits from that The Cramps had stolen and been inspired by and heard a version of 'Looking At You' that The Damned must have covered with great dismay as I'd always asumed it was a Damned original.

Planet-X held its third reunion night with great success. Though advanced ticket were hit by the cancellations of the intended monthly nights of Feb & March attendance was very good on the night and the place seemed packed to me. It was a typical Planet-X night for me, talking to some young lovely at length before she kopped off with someone else while I was at the bar. Next time. It also turns out that Doreen is promoting one of the gigs on the last night of the Liverpoolsoundcity.co.uk festival. Guess who she's got on the bill ? It's Jimmy & The Destroyers, Henry Cluney Ex-Stiff Little Fingers, The Alarm, and headliners The Damned. Guess who's on the guest list ?

I also got to see Spear Of Destiny last Sunday and you can find a review with live photos in the Live Lounge section of the Members Library.

That's all for now but stay tuned for more pictures and a live review of the Liverpool Sound City event.

Viper 14/5/2009

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Good day folken,

I hope your feeling happier than I. It’s been another miserable month of slog with fuck all to show for it. Our only solace during this period of global economic meltdown here at The Lair is that the original Miss Piggy has finally kicked the bucket and the British public finally got up off it’s arse to throw bricks at those responsible for ruining our lives. Fuck the G8, the G20, and all those bastards that took us into the bullshit fiction known as the War On Terror.

Television: Eastenders – what a story about poor Danielle and her mother Ronnie. Fairly had me crying my eyes out when the poor girl got run over and Ronnie becomes broken forever. I always hoped and expected there to be some long lasting reconciliation between mother and daughter, but the script writers at the BBC seem to enjoy a nasty streak of sadism. Coronation Street – and finally Steve and Becky have got it together. In amongst the back biting and squabbling and Peter’s drunken neglect of his only son this was a warming moment in soap land. Heros – in ever increasingly stranger and more complicated plot lines it was interesting to watch the showdown between Syler and his long lost daddy, and it was wonderful to see the tables turned on Nathan and his mother Angela. Lewis – seriously, how fucking dull is that to watch ? Inspector Morse it isn’t by a long way. They should have given that one up when the pilot show flopped.

On The Forums : since the demise of EDIT feelings have been running high and there have been some very unkind comments directed at Shaman. Whilst some of these may well be deserved I feel that calling for him to commit suicide is rather extreme and beyond reasonable comment. Of course this is the kind of thing that happens when you get a bunch of teenagers trying to out do each other in the ‘who can be the most controversial’ on the forums competition. Chilled Times ? Go to fuck ! ……….. Elsewhere Champs have closed it’s forum doors due to legal implications of it’s teenage following. …………..

The hotly anticipated monthly Planet-X nights have come to nothing due to lack of interest on the part of those actually involved in it’s promotion. Doreen is rather upset about it but plans on having a 26th reunion party on Sun 3rd May regardless. Details to follow ………

Well that’s about it for now, but you can believe now I’m going to have more time there will be more regular updates here at The Lair and no doubt a slew of new articles.

Viper 6/4/2009

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Good day to you folken,

it's a full month since my last address and it's been a period of settlement for many. For some it's been a case of readjusting their finances as a result of the 'credit crunch'. For others it been pastures new and rehousing.

Myself, well I've mostly been resting. It seems there a whole lot of things I can no longer do, and a lot more I need to do.

News from America wasn't so great and we mourn the reported death of The Cramps frontman, Lux Interior. Lux departed for the land of the undead with his 'Wig Hat' firmly in it's place on Wednesday 4th Feb 2009 as a result of long running heart problems. Lux and the band were still performing up to last November. Their last record release was the double archive CD 'How To Make A Monster'. Our heart felt commiserations to Poison Ivy.

On the forums: EDIT Forums as last reported are gone. It is currently considered that they are very unlickly to ever return. ................ Over at ChilledTimes.com the new commerce free forums are flourishing. There are many old posters from EDIT forums on the boards and it seems the membership is expanding capaciously. ............... This years expected and hotly anticipated Feb 5th Planet-X monthly night was cancelled just a couple of weeks before it was to take place. Word was spread freind to freind as nothing was posted on the Planet-X reunion page at MySpace.com. We understand the 5th March night will proceed as planned.

Viper 9/2/2009

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Hello folken,

and a Happy New Year to you all. Some of you may be wondering why I haven't done any updates since September. The short answer is I haven't been well.

On Ocober 22nd I went into hospital for a routine Angiogram. However it revealed that my main artery feeding blood to my heart was somewhere between 90 and 99% blocked. They wouldn't let me leave and did a quadruple heart by-pass operatation on me on Halloween.

I knew I'd be fine, after all I've been undead for years. Of course I had to take a longer than usual nap in the crypt to recover and so I missed out on the 2008 Cannabis Cup. I also missed the 2008 London Hemp Fair at Brick Lane, but I was fine and had risen again in time for the second Planet-X reunion.

There will at some future point be a major written work based on my undead experience, but don't anyone hold their breath, it isn't likely to be published any time soon. If they can get a play out of one mans memory of Eric's I'm sure I can get a book out of my recollections over the years.

On the forums things have changed dramatically. EDIT Forums are no more, they have closed and been removed from view. Though there has been a good deal of nonsense talked on a variety of forums I can tell you it has more to do with a change in the law and the reclassification of cannabis than it does with anything else, as some think, and many others are speculating. The whole thing could have been handled better and I'm working on a feature article which will reveal the greater truth in the not very distant future. Stay tuned. ............................ The news isn't all bad. Original EDIT owner Mark/Bushmaster intends to set up a brand new forum for all the displaced EDIT folken free from commercial activity. The online community that has flurished over at EDIT and spawned a number of copy cat sites will have a new home and playground in which to continue very shortly. It will be called Chilled Times.com. ............................ WeedTalk.com of Australia has not gone bust or been busted as I thought, it was just going through some tech problems and is back up and running as usual. ............................... Virtual Dam seems to be recovering slowly but nicely and signs of life continue. ............. A new forum Champs based on EDIT and set up, it would appear, by former EDIT members seems to be doing well despite the fact that many of their members seem to be very young indeed and quite clearly under the age of 18. It can only be wondered how they may continue once the law becomes enforcable on Jan 26th 2009. No doubt many of the EDIT members currently re-grouping over there will switch to Chilled Times.com or elsewhere. The rest of the EDIT displaced are currently hanging out at Bushmaster owned YouKnowIt.com Forums, which appear to have a stronger following each day. .....................

For my own part I'm still catching up after my little health scare thing and the death of my internet computer that was still running on Windows 98. Big Thank you to Mark for sending me up one of his old lap tops so I can do what it is that I do.

Stay tuned folken, I promise there will be more updates here at The Lair in the near future.

Viper 9/1/2009

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Is it really four months since I last updated ? Yup, it is.

Well I have been busy.

To begin with I've written three new pieces which were for Stoner Magazine, but as it appears they've gone bust and they'll never see the printed page, and I didn't get paid, I've published them here for our Members to read in all their glory.

The first article was inspired by the news that The Pollinator Co. no longer support the use of Ice-o-later or Bubbleator water extraction methods of hash making. You can read what my investigation revealed in the public Ital Bar Smoking Lounge & Library under the heading Ice Cold.

The second piece was written from the few remaining texts from the original story lines for the Fanasy Thread that was part of The Balloon Game in the early days of EDIT 2003.

Well you knew I just couldn't leave Skanks out there cooking breakfast forever ! Anyway inspired by the idea of actually getting paid to write I dusted off the remaining texts and began a whole new story which was to be illustrated as a serial feature story for Stoner Magazine ............, sigh. The first chapter of what one day may become a book, or something, can be read in the public Ital Bar Smoking Lounge & Library under the heading SKANKSTER, El-Dan Province: Chapter One.

The third article is my report on the introduction of the Anti Tobacco Law in Amsterdam and can be read in full in the Members Library under the heading The Last Big Smoke.

On The Forums - After working with DNA Genetics on getting their forums going we were sad to be told that due to legal complications DNA had to shut it down. It was a real shame because things were just starting to take off and a very freindly vibe was being generated amongst the users of the boards. We wish Mark & The Back Room Boys who worked so hard on the forums project well in their next venture. Keep in touch folks. ................ It seems WeedTalk.com has either gone bust, or been busted, because they too are no more. .................... Virtual Dam seems to have died a death since Rez hopped off to Spain(?), which is a shame as this was another place with a very good vibe. That private Members thing slowed down new users though and one of the former Mods over at DNA still hasn't had a reply to his application. ...............

Lee Harris is ever busy and doing some gigs with Angel Headed Hip Hop and has a new MySpace page. After a long and winding path I'm pleased to tell you all that I finally brought about a meet between Lee and John Sinclair, or rather Ferre of the THC Ministry did. Last summer I suggested the idea to John as we took a fish & chip dinner in a Soho pub. He was very keen but has been travelling a lot. However I'd introduced Lee to Ferre, and Ferre is good freinds with John, and so it came to pass that Ferre eventually brought the two together on September 4th 2008. Lee recorded an interview with John and is set to do some music with him in the future. You heard it here first.

Talking of MySpace, in the intrest of communication with others The Lair can now be found at MySpace.com/VernTheViper . Feel free to drop by and add us if you do the MySpace thing.

I was pleased to hear recently, and far too late to attend, that Planet-X has returned from the undead to do two yearly special events for old members and past staff. I never thought Doreen could be talked into it, but I'm so glad she was. Though I missed the first reunion last May, I'll be seeing Doreen for her birthday party on Oct 3rd, and look forwards to Planet-X Mas Dec 28th. I'll also be going to see the Eric's musical and you know I'll have to write a review.

The High Times Cannabis Cup 2008; news on the Cups is that the tour operater sorting out travel for the reggae artists supose to be playing at the Power Zone this year have gone bust, which means at least half the bands expecting to play won't be getting there. So, buisness as usual then.

Unfortunately due to health concerns it looks very unlikely that I'll be making to the Cups this year. Please feel free to send us your reviews and experiences of this years Cups you folken that will be going.

Would you like a poster or T-shirt of your favourite coffee shop ? How about a mouse mat, mug or room clock ? Well, very soon you'll be able to pick from a range of special and Limited Edition Lair merchendise. It's all going to be up to our readers to decide which graphics they would like to see as mugs, mouse mats, clocks, posters, and T-shirts. Only graphics with twenty plus votes will make it onto the various products, so send your top choices to psycho_cat @ psychocat.co.uk before October 17th 2008 and we'll see what can be done for Yule.

Viper 22/9/2008

 

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Hi folken,

work continues a pace in the office. Now I'm an official free lance journalist there just doesn't seem enough time in the day.

Some of you may have noticed our Index page has changed slightly. We think it looks nicer now.

It seems that the 'Brand 420' Cups went quite well. I hear there was some contorversy around the C99 strain, that there were some sparks flying between Gypsy Nirvana and DNA Genetics, that Greenhouse Chemdog strain isn't theirs, that the Cheese was entered into the wrong catagory (I'm told this came from a U.K. clone), that a lot of folken from the U.K. were there (likely Weed World readers and members of the parasitic 'Brand' UK420 forum), that Soma took up residence at the big table in the Pollinator Co., day passes were free but got you nothing to smoke, there were 25 strains entered, that some regular hardcore attendees were missing, that the Pollinator Co. got very busy, that the Pollinator web site has a statement proclaiming it no longer supports the use of Ice-O-later or Bubbleator resin extraction methods, and that the American's made a special venture over to Haarlem to find a steakhouse.

It seems that Issue 3 of Stoner Magazine will be out in June. My first article for them, '420 Revealed' will be printed in its entirety. Though four years old its lost nothing and remains relevant.

Any of you remember Skankster ? A fictional character I brought to life for a bit of a laugh some years ago now, Skanks is set to ride again. This time in his own serial illustrated feature story in Stoner magazine, coming soon

On the Forums; - The big news is that former EDIT owner Mark and his Tech Team have joined forces with DNA Genetics to produce a spanking new forum. We wondered what Mark was up to. Good luck and best wishes to the new venture. I have little doubt that in a year or two it'll be as successful as past projects. ................ Things have settled down over at EDIT since the departure of the Grow Sections. There was some minor disturbance by members of a rival forum who think they'll continue to get away with taking the piss, but a little Ban Hammer weilding by Admin took care of that. .......................... Over at Virtual 'Dam a mass login was planned and took place Sunday before last. Sadly it being Sunday and most people recovering from being wasted on the Saturday, turn out was poor. Not to worry, there's always next time. ....... .The Evil Girls site is now up and partly running. Looking good girls ! ...............

Best wishes going out to Lee Harris who has begun writting a book. Keep at it Lee. .............. Plans for this year walk to Stonehenge by The True Druid look like they may be shelved due to circumstances beyond control. Never the less David is looking into a new buisness venture. Best of Luck David, don't let the bastards grind you down.

A new recording artist wishing to be know as The Fall-Out Brothers contacted us recently. A review of the first album 'No Key, No Pitch, No Idea' can be found in the Live Lounge of our Members section. The entire 11 track album is freely and exclusivly availible only through this web site and can be downloaded to enjoy at your leisure. Thanks to The Fall-Out Brothers for their generosity of spirit. You can hear 'Yeah' in our Home page Reception, 'Fine Tonight' playing in the Ital Bar Smoking Lounge, and the whole album in the Live Lounge.

Long days and pleasant nights,

Viper 13/5/2008

 

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28/3/2008

Life seems to move on at a faster pace these days, and it’s difficult to keep up with it all. Where does the time go ?

The Lair continues to evolve. The Members Library has been re-designed with easy use in mind. There are now three separate sections; Amsterdam, The U.K, and newly designed Viper’s Live Lounge. We hope this make it easier for you all to find what your looking for.

I was out and about on the Live circuit again during March and there are three brand new live reviews with exclusive live pictures in the Live Lounge; Siouxsie (of The Banshees) 1/3/2008, Stiff Little Fingers 5/3/2008, and THE M3T3ORS 8/3/2008.

Plans are slowly forming for the ‘Last Big Smoke’. See X.

Other big and exciting news is that Ed the Editor of ‘Stoner’ magazine, based in the U.K. coming out of Scotland and distributed by Avalon Wholesale, has been in touch. Quotes from my Double Dusk review of Lee Harris’s gig last September are to be published in a feature on Lee Harris written by River Styx in the forth coming Issue 3. Ed also asked me to do some regular features in the mag from Issue 4. He even mentioned money. So look out world, among the debauched tales and raconteur reviews that I’ll no doubt be writing in the future, there’s something else. I can hear the distant sound of a familiar motorbike engine and feel the mysterious eye of Eric turning once again in my direction.

High Times Cannabis Cup 2008 News; It seems that the billed induction of the Merry Panksters this year is off. According to reports The Cups will this year feature Reggae. Artists to be featured are not yet confirmed. It appears that the main Expo will again be located at The Power Zone venue, like last year. Plans for the Awards this year seem to include The Melkweg, but its far too early to be sure.

This years Weed World Hemp Fair is to take place in London, in November before the HTCC.

On the Forums; The big news is the removal of the Growing & Mushroom sections of EDIT. It seems the lawyers advised new owner Shaman to make the change. As expected, this was not pleasurably recieved by the EDIT community. Get over it. ................. New-ish Virtual Amsterdam seems to be quietly bubbling along very nicely. It's a welcome change to visit a forum and not have to wade through a bunch of teenager bullshit to find something interesting or usefull. Long may it continue. ........................... After a break for some tech twitching Weed Talk is back online. They like European news, so drop in and let them know what's happening over this side of the world. ............... Over at the Ministry there's a steady steam of interesting and shocking news from the underground as well as community support for members in stressful times. ........................... Across the way at Weed Tracker there's a whole host of splendid information and helpful advise for Medical Marijuana patients across the U.S.A.. This site seems to list the entire country and for those that know nothing about this subject its the best place to be inspired. ................... Drug Runners - the new Round is under way but I'm not playing. I just haven't got the time. Another wonderful waste of time is Kings Of Babylon. Here you can build your very own village, train an army, and attack other players villages. ............... The Evil Girls site opens on April 9th, and looks promising. ...............

I also like to offer my condolences to Lee Harris who recently had to say goodbye to his wife of 32 years due to cancer. A Buddhist ceremony sent Brigitta on boat of love along the river that runs along side the path to the family table in the clearing March 4th 2008. We’re thinking of you Lee, and we send our good wishes. Looking forwards to hearing the new L.P..

Best wishes too for David - The True Druid who continues to fight for his rights against the forces of ignorance and repression. I understand that work and customizations on the new-ish Range Rover (new Druid Mobile) are nearly complete and that plans for this years stroll to Stone Henge from Brighton are under way.

Looks like June is going to be interesting ......

Viper 28/3/2008

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Hello folken,

It’s been an interesting Yule period. Starting off with the Captain’s Cup Tour its been all go. First there was the planning, then the doing, and afterwards the writing. Along came some domestic strife, a slew of seasonal illness, then a tooth abscess.

Never the less the Lair has grown and there are now several sub-sites sharing our space. The Captain has his own site now, as does Miss Jezebel Hurt, and old friends Psycho Cat Designs. We wish them all the very best of luck.

News from Amsterdam says that come 1st July 2008 smoking culture as we know it is over. The Captain is making plans for a Last Big Smoke. Why don’t you join us ?

Viper 12/2/2008

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Hi folken, the all new Viperslair.co.uk is back online and better than ever. We've moved host sites and re-designed the site. We hope you like what we've done. Casual readers may still access selected articles in the public area of the Ital Bar, but regular readers will now have to Register as Members to access our full Library and Viper's Live Lounge. Registration can be simply achieved by filling in the Ital Bar Registration form.

We also have a couple of new helpers here at the Lair, Lean Mean Rollin Machine, and Miss Jezebel Hurt.

Best wishes folken,

Viper 28/10/2007

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Lair Language

In the rush to get published it often happens that we incur type errors and the odd spelling mistake. Our policy has always been more 'Sniffin' Glue' than 'The Times On Sunday' .

The first ever dictionary of the English Language was only published in 1755. It was an attemp to standardise the spelling of words so that everybody could then read what others wrote. Before the dictionary Olde English as it is now known took priority, with spellings changing from place to place along with local pronounciation and accent.

There was no standard way to spell words. So long as the message could be read and its sense was clear, the variation in spelling was unimportant. The dicionary simply marked a point in linguistics from which we are able to agree or disagree on word spelling as we see fit.

English Literature as a topic of study did not come into being until the late 1890's. Occasionally we do use Olde English here at the Lair, and we see no reason why we shouldn't.

Viper 2/6/2006

Fantasy & Fiction Theme Of The Lair

Our home page is and shall continue to be an artistic conception. Though real images have been used to create it, and other pages in the Lair, we stress that our Lair is a fictional creation, in the fictional setting of the Dominion Of El-Dan.

The emphasis here is on interactivity and the conception of the design was intended to stimulate the imagination of the viewer.

We believe that if you're here and reading this then its because you actually want to be visiting our site. If you want to be here, we believe your prepared to spend a little time looking around the place. We aim to make that as interesting and entertaing an experience as possible. Expect regular changes.

Though initially started in embryo over at EDIT Forums during Dec 2002 - 2003 the seeds for the concept of the look of the Lair strech much further back to the time of my youth.

Viper 29/1/2006

Though some artistic liberty may be taken with a subtle blending of fact with fiction in Lair story lines, all articles, essays, features and reviews are free from the fictional theme and concept of our viewer orientated presentation.

Those who helped develop the characters I'll be establishing here, over at EDIT, thank you. Like as not I may include you somewhere at some time.

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